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We need to talk

We need to talk

We often talk. Sometimes too much, too meaninglessly. But how often we pause and think: are we having the conversation on the issue that matter most to me? Are we having a conversation that heal my heart?

Conversations are full of potentials. This simple act of sitting down and talking with a fellow people can be as heavenly as anything else. A new talk with a stranger can turn into a business opportunity, new connection, new friendship, new love, marriage and so many other beautiful things. On the other hand, a hot conversation can cause divorce, loss of job, break up of friendships and more. This "conversation" is crucial. It defines many things in our life.

Despite the utter importance of conversation we seldom give it sufficient attention. We make conversations silly, dull and ineffective. It's found that we have, on an average, 27 conversations a day, and most of these conversations has profound impact on our life and happiness. A study published in Psychological Sciences in 2010 found that happiest participants had twice as many meaningful conversations as unhappiest conversations.

For entrepreneurs conversations, small talks carries extra value. If you are having conversations irregularly then you should consider to make it a regular for one of following three reasons:

1. Creativity: Often these talks ignite new ideas. Recent research suggests that when people engage in small talks they share pieces of information that add up to astonishing ideas in later on.

2. Productivity: Conversations increase productivity. Small and meaningful talks reduce stress and multiply positive attitude.

3. Opportunity: People passes important ideas, information, and news during conversations. Even a total stranger can give you an unexpected information of opportunity.

Unfortunately, dialogue is not an appreciated issue in our life. We do, even, discourage conversations. We are used to see talking as unproductive, waste of time. We are too busy to have a small talk. Out of that, psychologists are also telling us that, we are afraid of having long talks, having conversations! Because we are not fond of uncertainty and in case of most  conversations we have no idea how it will end. Moreover, we can't control when we talk with other people that freaks us out. Similarly, another reason of avoiding talks is the fear of not receiving expected response from other counterpart, or telling something ridiculous.

However, apart from all these we need to talk for good. To have a fruitful conversation, in any sphere of life, you can try following tricks:

1. Don't try to be interesting, be interested: Start the conversation. Be the listener not the speaker. Be interested at other people instead of trying to be interesting. Too many people ruin conversations just by talking too much of their own instead of letting others to talk.

2. Be respectful: Have a respect for your counterpart. Show it.

3. Decide what to tell: To have expected outcome from a conversation you have to plan ahead what to tell and not.

4. Be Authentic: Speak your truth. Don't take shelter of fake to show up yourself.

5. Connect with purpose: Purpose is powerful. It connects, draws, ignites.

Your very next conversation can open up a new window of opportunity for you, can create a sweet relationship of life, can draw best business relationship of the year. Our world can be changed, can be very different, if we have many more fruitful dialogues with people with differences. Dialogue helps us to understand others whom normally we don't understand from distance. Let's have a talk!

Mohammad Ruhul Kader is a Dhaka-based entrepreneur and writer. He founded Future Startup, a digital publication covering the startup and technology scene in Dhaka with an ambition to transform Bangladesh through entrepreneurship and innovation. He writes about internet business, strategy, technology, and society. He is the author of Rethinking Failure. His writings have been published in almost all major national dailies in Bangladesh including DT, FE, etc. Prior to FS, he worked for a local conglomerate where he helped start a social enterprise. Ruhul is a 2022 winner of Emergent Ventures, a fellowship and grant program from the Mercatus Center at George Mason University. He can be reached at [email protected]

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2 comments on “We need to talk”

  1. Yes!We should definitely try/use those tricks. But I have doubt over trick no. 1. What if  both parties (you can consider you and me!) are applying your tricks? Will there be any actual fruitful conversation?

    1. Hi Tanveer, Thanks for reading:), Hmm it seems complicated at first that what will happen if both parties use same techniques. But I think it'd be great if both parties become interested towards each other, they'll listen more, be more open to each other and will be more authentic.

      Concurrently, I prefer not to say these principles as "tricks". Tricks sound a bit artificial but in a conversation, if we want to get something out, we must be authentic.

      What do you think? Two people want to have a fruitful conversation and become interested to each other, want to listen more from other person, would not their conversation be more fruitful instead of one where none or only one party shows real interest and authenticity?

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